Assalamualaikum. Today is Miss Adibah's last day teaching at our school as a practical teacher. She has been teaching us for about three months so today, we, 4USMers/4USMians and Miss Adibah bid our farewell to each other. 

Last Wednesday, when I knew about some of my classmates were planning to give presents to Miss Adibah, my heart hurts. My mind was like "I'm Miss Adibah's student too but why don't they discussed about it with me? I want to give her gift too. I can give them money too and maybe they can buy the gift using my and their money." After that, I went to class and I talked about it to Hidayah and she thinked as what I was thinking. It's really hurt but well um we have been casted out for sooooo many times so we told each other to just keep calm, it's normal~ something like that.

Soooo today, before the farewell party started, all of 4USMers/4USMians who present today went to the class. Me and Dayah went too and we were standing at the back like a pillar because we don't know what to do. Well, we were casted out right? So we went to the class next to ours, 4UPM. We wandering in the class, walked here and there while waiting for YiYiYi lol Leyi, Ruiyi and Shinyi XD me and Dayah are more close to Chinese and Indian in our class than Malay tho and while waiting and wandering and waiting and wandering suddenly TSH came and we were like "OH MY GOSH HE'S HEREEEE" he's handsome he's cute he's adorable and we can't control our feels. He looks like D.O. of EXO and because of that I went crazy when I saw him. Then me and Dayah walked out from the class and D passed by and that time I was like "oh God, why must now?" I nearly fainted because I admire him so much hahahaha.

We went back to our class and the girls were all decorating and writing and signing on the whiteboard. Me and Dayah stood at the door and sometimes went to the whiteboard and looked at the other girls and then talked to each other about it. It's seriously hurt, I swear! They don't even asked us to sign on the whiteboard too :'( then the party started and there are pizzas and some drink on the table. Me and Dayah was too shy to eat and drink and it's hard too because there are many people and they were standing around the table so we decided to just eat later. We both walked out of the class and no one cares about us. We stood outside for such a long time. We even talked about what will happen if both of us passed away. We think no one will care about us and no one will fcking care if I jumped off from the school veranda *that was what we thinked.

After that, I decided to go back home. I went to Miss Adibah to shake her hands and Miss Adibah said "eh, you want to go back home now? But you haven't eat anything" I said it's okay because I'm in hurry to go back home. Miss Adibah told me to take picture first before going home so me and Dayah went to the front but then eeeeeveryoneeeeee went to the front too and there's me and Dayah being blocked by them =.=" I nearly cried but I hold myself. Miss Adibah then said she can't see me and then all of them were like "eh here, here, stand here, besides me" "eh come on come here, near me" "here, you will not be blocked here" I fcking feeling like crying oh my God why did everyone acted like they care about me after what Miss Adibah said? I seriously hope that they will not act like that just because Miss Adibah asked about me *sobbing* tbh that time I think if Myra, Aimi and Eyah were there, they will surely call us and told us to join in *sobbing again and again*

I don't need any fake friend(s) in my life and it's hurt to be casted out, you know? Why must me and Dayah being treated like this? What have we done? I don't think we have done something to you guys since we haven't greet you guys for quite a long time. Every time we want to talk to you, there will be someone who keep giving us death stares and talking about us and it make us feel uncomfortable to talk to you guys. Is it because you don't like the way we act? Is it because you don't like our behaviors? Then if it is, told us. Discuss it with us. It's not hard tho. It's better than just staying away from us. You said you're our friend then you have to guide us, told us what you don't like about us and we will surely try our best to change. I may look like the happiest person ever, laughing like crazy and sometimes smiling like idiot when I'm at school but you never know how much I have cried because of you. You never know how many times I hurt my eyes just because my eyes cried for you. I'm so done. I hate my life.........

*btw thanks for giving us the chance to give Miss Adibah some messages on the gift even if it's the only thing that we can do for her :') Sorry for my broken English and sorry if I ever hurt anyone